759 words, 4 minutes read time.
There’s a heartbreaking paradox happening in modern spiritual spaces: the places we go to remember who we are are often the very places that cause us to forget. Forget our power. Forget our sovereignty. Forget our divine right to say, “No, that doesn’t resonate with me.”
I’ve been in so-called “spiritual families” that preached sovereignty but practiced control. I’ve witnessed “healing” offered like a favor, only to have it weaponized later when you dared to trust your own discernment over their direction. I’ve seen help offered with a smile—and then yanked back with a slap of shame when you didn’t comply. That’s not spiritual guidance. That’s manipulation in sacred disguise.
Let’s be real: not every spiritual community is safe. Not every “high-frequency” group is actually rooted in integrity. And not every smiling “lightworker” is walking their talk.
But Why Do Spiritual Groups Attract Narcissists?
Because narcissism loves hierarchy & spiritual bypassing. When someone can position themselves as more “evolved,” more “connected,” or more “divinely appointed,” the door opens wide for subtle control tactics. Spiritual narcissists aren’t always overt—they often hide behind “love & light” language, weaponize group loyalty, & use teachings like “just drop your trauma” to silence critical thinking.
And when the leadership isn’t trauma-informed? That’s where harm multiplies. Real healing work doesn’t shame your nervous system. It meets it. It doesn’t bypass your pain with empty affirmations. It honors your process & walks with you through the fire.
When Legacy Feeds Ego (And Not Liberation)
Some leaders even root their identity in spiritual lineage—like claiming a past connection to known gurus as proof of their spiritual credibility. But not all lineages are clean.
Take Osho, for example.
While he publicly spoke of inner freedom & spiritual sovereignty, allegations & testimonies surrounding his commune told a different story: manipulation, abuse, & a disturbing hierarchy where the inner circle wielded control masked as enlightenment. And yes, women were disproportionately involved in carrying out the darker agendas—often at the direction of those higher up.
When someone builds their “authority” off of associations like that without acknowledging the harm that occurred—brushing off real accounts as “lies” or “media manipulation”—that’s enabling. That’s flying monkey behavior. That’s a spiritual red flag.
Saying the Right Things While Doing the Opposite
The most dangerous communities aren’t the ones that openly declare themselves as gurus. They’re the ones who say all the right things: “Be your own guide.” “Trust your inner wisdom.” “You don’t need me.”
But then… the culture tells a different story. Members defer to the leader constantly for answers. No one dares to question “downloads.” Critical thinking is seen as a lower frequency. And suddenly, the very group that says it’s about sovereignty begins to look a lot like worship.
And when the answer to every struggle becomes a product—“Just do the [insert program name here]”—you’ve entered the realm of spiritual consumerism masquerading as healing. Outsourcing your inner work to someone else’s team won’t create lasting transformation. We all have our own Spirit Teams, our own Divine Intelligence. Healing that lasts requires you to meet yourself in the shadows, not just hand them off & call it done.
You’re Not Alone (And You’re Not Crazy)
If any of this hits close to home—if you’ve ever doubted yourself after being spiritually gaslit or abused in the name of “healing”—please know: you are not alone. Many of us have walked through distorted communities believing we found “home,” only to realize we were handing over our power in increments.
But that experience doesn’t make you broken. It makes you wise.
It’s exactly why I created a downloadable checklist to help you spot these red flags before you get entangled in a group or with a guide who doesn’t actually serve your soul’s evolution.
Download 13 Spiritual Integrity Checkpoints: Is This a Soul-Aligned Sanctuary or a Cultic Dumpster Fire?
The checklist below includes signs of spiritual manipulation, bypassing, narcissistic dynamics, & cult-like behavior, based on real experiences, including mine. It’s a tool of discernment, not fear. Keep it close.
Because the more spiritually empowered we become, the harder it is for false light to find a foothold.
Log in or sign up if you would like to download the checklist. (As a free member of Abundant Youniverse, you will also have access to our high consciousness, spiritual social network, Sacred Circle, & all the free resources on Abundant Youniversity.)
For more information on spiritual narcissism in general, please check out my article Spiritual Narcissism: The Hidden Trap on the Awakening Path.
